Graduation... is it for me or not?

Yeah like the title says. I have been wondering alot about my next and last year of school, and about if I will graduate or not.

Maybe I won't graduate because I get thrown out, or maybe go myself becase of all this stuff going on at the moment. Or maybe because I am... scared... of graduation.
I don't know why. But the thought of me becoming a real graudated student. It's just so weird. I never ever thought I would come this far. And somehow I guess I feel like I don't deserve it after all the help and extra meeting with my teacher, who really believes in me... Somehow I feel like I am just a problem for her to solve. That I am to big a burden, and to big a looser for someone like her to believe in me... And I am an evil person for using her time... specially if I give up.

I don't know... but after being told many times that I am lazy and stupid by some people, while others tell me the exact opposite... I'm just confused I guess... And afraid of the graduation that might actually be my rescue and make me more responsible, maybe even more adult...

hm... I really don't know what I want, or what I wanna do... I don't even know why I am writing this... It just had to come out I guess...

Oh well... Keep Calm And Carry On...?